 With the exception of hermits and those serving in religious orders, people are naturally drawn to forming friendships, getting married and having families. If they did not, the human race would be extinct as the ruins of Rome. It has been scientifically proven that people thrive on love and being loved. Anyone extremely deprived of love eventually dies. It is only natural the human race would preserve its existence by following in-born inclinations that are encouraged by any society to marry and raise a family. Relationships are where human beings have the most opportunity to experience love and learning during their life's journey.
In spite this, a portion of some global populations who do not marry. They are not hermits or serving in religious orders. For a variety of reasons, they have deliberately chosen to remain single and are very happy with this choice. These single and "loving it" are mostly white women with the majority found in America.
Psychological studies have proven that women do better living alone then men. In general, American women have an increased number of same sex close and supportive friendships then American men. They often seek out purpose and meaning for their lives that move beyond the contribution of their careers and sometimes raising a family. To be fair, a 2008 Census Bureau of Statistics reports 29.4% of males age 18 and over have never married compared to 22.7% of females in the same category and age group. In addition, a 2006 Gallup poll cites that "68% of divorced or widowed Americans plan to remain unmarried." The "always single state" so fascinated three authors, Kreider, Rose and Jason Fields that they wrote a book about it in 2002, titled, "Number Timing and Duration of Marriage and Divorces." In this book, the authors quote, "The average American spends the majority of his or her life unmarried."
This may be unthinkable in other countries where the fabric of society is emphasized by the importance of having a spouse and nurturing a family. Africa, Mexico, France, Spain, Greece, Norway, Sweden, the Netherlands, India and Asia are a few global examples where marriage and family remain tantamount in family values. Choosing to remain single, can puzzle the American as well who seeks to marry and have children. One may wonder if American values have degraded around marriage and the family, if American woman or men are "too independent" not to have a life long companion, or America is just too permissive when it comes to living together unmarried or raising children as single women or single parents. People may simply shrug their shoulders and say, "Whatever works, works." The following lists suggests some reasons why Americans may choose to live single and love it for the rest of their lives.
1. "I just haven't found the right person." These people do not know where to meet and date or have too many expectations from a potential partner to be able to share one's life realistically with a special someone. Other people may always experience bad luck at meeting the wrong guy or gal all the time. As a result, they accept the fact they will not meet the right person and develop a good single life.
2. "Once Bitten, Twice Shy." These people have been severely hurt from betrayal of trust of loyalty and where dedication to commitment becomes non-existent. They feel, "bitten" and "too shy" because trying to find love just hurts too much. They would rather not risk getting severely hurt again.
3. "I'm scared of commitment." These people live only for themselves as the most important person in their life. They feel unable to share a life with someone else and are uncomfortable with others demanding time, love, care and affection. These people want to be responsible only for their own needs and happiness. Likewise, the older some people get, the more comfortable they feel without having to adjust their lifestyle to partner with another person. Many do admit they are too selfish to marry.
4. "I do not want to end up like so many of my friends." These people have witnessed way too many divorces and dating break-ups among to their friends. They fear if they marry or get involved in a serious relationship, they will end up the same way.
5. "I am too busy taking care of my family." These people have elderly parents or chronically ill family members with special needs that need care the single person is obligated to provide. When family duties end, or these people find another way to free themselves and provide care, they feel it is too late to find someone.
Women in particular who have experienced a lot of dependency on a man in a marriage, feel especially free to lead single lives once divorced or widowed. They like looking after themselves and feeling self-sufficient. To re-marry for them, would only mean another feeling of dependency and lack of self-sufficiency. Likewise, men and women who have had particularly abusive marriages may not look forward to re-marrying and prefer to preserve their freedom in a single lifestyle. Whatever the reason people choose to stay single, does not mean they remain without social companionship. They share plenty of social activities with other single people or close friends. It just means they are "single to mingle", but are "not looking" to marry.
www.iloveindia.com/lounge/why-people-stay-single-2984-hmtl
www.unmarried.org/statistics.hml
Number Timing and Duration of Marriage and Divorces, 1996 by Kreider, Rose and Jason Fields, republished in 2002.
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